Audrey

Audrey is a tall blonde with beautiful, in-your-face athletic tits, probably in her mid-thirties (turns out she was in her late-twenties, but time rarely flatters the appearance of crack cocaine users). I met her through Backpage, where she offered out calls. She was fun for the first couple of hours, and then started geeking, and I had to learn about that part of the cocaine smoking experience. I was terribly inexperienced at smoking cocaine, all the rituals and stuff, as well as the simple engineering concepts involved, some of them important. Even chore, the crushed-up copper scouring pad that’s used as a filter in crack pipes, was beyond my understanding or power to control at the time. I didn’t know to plan to have supplies when I needed them.

Naïve, misinformed, inexperienced, high as fuck, I was a challenge for poor Audrey, who was in a strange situation, since the drug was mine, and we were at my place, and I had paid well for her provider services, but she knew how it should be done and that I was doing shit all wrong, and when she pointed out my errors all I did was push back and ask for explanations. I really, really didn’t know much, and it was much too easy to do everything wrong, especially as high as I was.

This was all more than poor Audrey could process. When high and tweaked, she delivered the worst BJ I had ever experienced up to that moment. She kissed, then sucked the side of my penis, almost as if she wanted to give me a hickey. Then she turned her head, went in for the kill, and proceeded to suck just the head of my cock, all enthusiasm and nose-breathing. Horrible! I pulled away. It would be 18 months before this signal accomplishment was eclipsed by an even worse BJ from some SoPo chick who interestingly happened to be friends with Audrey, but that’s a long story. Stay tuned and keep reading.

I didn’t know that a crack ho didn’t want to just turn off the lights, turn off the stereo, slide under the covers with a stranger, and go to sleep while they were high as shit and unlikely to sleep for hours. Audrey wanted to go into town to buy more up, and when I wouldn’t drive her to town because I still held the quaint belief, soon to be smashed to bits, one shouldn’t get ridiculously high and then drive to the only place where one is likely to run into police and bad guys, and so with no other ride, Audrey called her friend Renée, who came to pick her up, drove her to town to get her (and me) more drugs and brought her back to me so I could drive her crazy some more. I did sleep while she was out, because I needed the sleep and I still trusted people. I’ll give her credit for bringing home most of the drugs I’d paid for.

Who knew there was such a thing as a bad blow job? I delivered Audrey to her work detail of recovering drug addicts bright-and-early the next morning at Dunkin Donuts in SoPo. I believe I bought a re-supply of cocaine on my way home, so I wouldn’t have to sleep away the beautiful, warm, sunny spring day.